


Undeniable

by haderz_gonna_hade



Category: Barry (TV 2018), Bill Hader - Fandom
Genre: Barry AU, Barry is a monster and I wanted to show it through more morally grey situations, F/M, I'm just gonna add to these tags as needed, PTSD, This is gonna get dark, drug use kind of, i live for drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haderz_gonna_hade/pseuds/haderz_gonna_hade
Summary: Barry AU where Barry manages to get Chris out of the car before the bum rush. This leaves him without a moral obligation to stay in the car and he tuck-and-rolls out of the vehicle when he realizes what Taylor is doing and that the plane has already landed.
Relationships: Barry Berkman/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. New Beginnings

The Consequences: Taylor and Vaughn still die, and the police still link Ryan to Taylor. Fuches and the Chechens still think Barry is dead, the Chechens are still coming for Fuches. Barry shows up to the show banged up and a little shaken but not having a mental breakdown, so he gives his line like an idiot and everyone goes about their day. Barry knows he has a broken arm, so he goes to the ER to get it casted. He tells the doctors he fell down the stairs to avoid questions. One nurse, Julie, doesn’t buy his story, but she thinks he’s cute and is impressed by his pain tolerance. She pokes a little bit but he’s solid on his alibi and she even makes him laugh. Numbers are exchanged and Barry forgets Sally in an instant, mostly because she probably yelled at him again. Also, he knows he can never go back to the acting class because the Chechens think he’s dead, so he has to lay low for a while. This means he never has to kill Moss. As soon as his injuries are taken care of and our new friend Julie the nurse gives Barry a stern talking to about concussions, Barry goes back to get his stuff from Fuches. Barry is obviously still pissed at Fuches. He’s in pain and 100% fed up with his bullshit, but he doesn’t punch him (so no tooth = no Loach = no Ronny). They argue and Barry threatens him and leaves. Fuches is left angry enough that he goes to the Chechens. At this point, it plays out the same way it did in the show, Hank calls Barry, Barry saves Fuches, Fuches fucks off to Cleveland, Goran is dead, Hank joins the Bolivians, Barry still owes Hank. My story will pick up the next morning, when Barry gets a text from Julie… 

-How’s that arm, Berkman?

-Definitely stings a bit, how are you?

-I just finished my graveyard shift, so I’m going a little crazy lol

“Hey Siri, what does ‘graveyard shift’ mean?” …

-Wow, that must have been tough, any crazy people stories?

-Not really, just a few gunshot wounds. It’s scary what a tiny piece of metal can do to a person if you get it going fast enough.

Barry’s mind flashed through images of Goran with a hole in his head and the other Chechens on the ground. He managed to stop it before too long and he regained control. 

-Yeah, scary.

-Anyway, I’m gonna catch some sleep, maybe we could go out for lunch later, if you’re up for it?

Barry’s heart fluttered as the only positive emotion he had felt in days came and went far too quickly.

-That would be rad, what time?

-I get up around noon, maybe 1:30? Have any good places in mind?

-I’m still pretty new around here, I can do some googling though.

-Okay Berkman, surprise me :) I’ll let you know when I wake up

-Okay, Goodnight!

Barry had barely slept in four days. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw pain and death. Every person he’d ever killed as well as people he hadn't like Chris, Taylor, Sally, and Cousineau flashed through his head as he put a bullet through theirs. For Barry, sleep only meant remembering that he was nothing but a violent piece of shit. He eventually did manage to doze off on the couch playing Mario Kart. When his eyes shot open from another nightmare, the clock read 12:30. _Shit._ He quickly struggled through a shower and found something half-decent to wear. “Hey Siri, look for Mexican food near me.” He called out as he nearly got in a fistfight with his pants. “Okay, here’s what I found on the web for ‘Mexican, can you hear me?’”


	2. Panic at 'Potle

“So, Chipotle…”

“Yeah, it got really great reviews,” Barry explained with a mouthful of burrito. “I kinda thought it was gonna be more of like, like a real restaurant, but uh, this is cool too you know.”

Julie giggled at his obliviousness. “You’ve really never been to a Chipotle before? They have them in Ohio too, I’m pretty sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s like a big national chain.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.” Barry struggled to eat the last half of his burrito as he couldn’t really use his left hand, and it all just kind of fell apart. “Here, I’ll go get you a fork.” Julie offered. As she got up, Barry feared that this date wasn’t going well. She returned with a plastic fork and a few extra napkins.

“I’m sorry about all this, I really thought this was like a real Mexican restaurant, I guess I may as well have taken you to McDonald’s.”

“Aww don’t be sorry, Barry. I honestly think it’s really funny. And for the record, I’d take Chipotle over McDonald’s any day of the week.” She laughed. Barry smiled weakly as he attempted to eat his now deconstructed burrito. They continued to talk, well Julie continued to talk. Barry mostly listened, his head hurt, and he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing until he worked out a solid cover story. He mentioned wanting to be an actor but that it didn’t work out. He said he had money saved from his old job in auto parts, but that he was currently unemployed. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” Julie reassured him when he went strangely silent. “Barry, are you alright?” He snapped out of it, “Sorry. My, my head really hurts I should probably go home to lay down.” He lied. In reality, he just couldn’t take being around people anymore. His head was spinning, and every sudden noise made him jump. He kept checking the faces of people passing by, certain that he was about to run into a Chechen, or that cop Detective Moss, or Cousineau, or Chris, or anyone that would ask questions or threaten him. His eyes widened when a well-dressed bald man walked in. Julie caught it and immediately recognized the emotion; sheer terror. “Hey, hey Barry, what’s wrong?” She hardly knew this man, but as a nurse, she clearly knew fear from pain, and this was not just a headache. Barry realized the bald man was not who he feared it was and snapped back once again.

“I’m sorry, what?” He knew she had said something, but it didn’t register.

“I said what’s wrong, you look like you just saw a ghost.”

“N-nothing, I-I didn’t see anything, I mean, I’m just not feeling well.” He repeated.

 _He’s a terrible liar_ she thought but she decided to not push him any further. He got up and started to pick up the trash from their table.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Hey, I’m really sorry Julie, I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We’ll go to a real place next time.” He tried to salvage the situation.

“Okay, Barry. I hope you feel better.”

“Thanks, bye Julie”

Barry couldn’t get to the safety of his car fast enough. He drove away like a bat out of hell once he did. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” he yelled as he processed what had happened. He began to calm down as his focus turned to driving on the highway. The longer he drove, the better he felt, so he decided to just keep on going. He was so focused on the road that he nearly ran the car out of gas. After filling up, he decided he should start back in the direction of his place. By the time he got back, it was after dark, and Barry had worn himself out. His arm was killing him and it was all he could think about now that he wasn’t driving. He decided to take one of those heavy-duty pain killers the hospital gave him, and a sleeping pill to knock himself out. Next thing he knew, it was late morning. His surroundings felt almost dream-like and when he tried to walk, he felt drunk. He realized that maybe mixing those pills was a bad idea. His suspicion was confirmed when he suddenly vomited. He panicked and googled only to find out that the danger had passed, and he was lucky he got through it. He felt like shit and was so out of it that he didn’t even think to check his phone until that night. Three unread texts and a voicemail from Julie - _hospital emoji_ \- Castiglione all expressing deep concern for his health and wellbeing. _Shit_.

-Hey Julie! Sorry, I had a bit of a weird night, but I’m okay. Thanks for your concern!

-Oh thank god, you had me worried there, Berkman. I thought you crashed or something. Glad to hear you’re alright. I was worried you would never get to take me to a real restaurant like you promised lol

-You really still want to go anywhere with me?

-Yeah, of course. I figured that yesterday wasn’t your best day, and if I like you enough on your bad days, I think I should at least stick around to see a good day.

Barry smiled, he was glad she was being so honest. Sally and Cousineau were honest, but in a way that always seemed to bring him down. He liked this new positive honesty.

-Awesome! I think you should pick the place next time though.

-Good idea, Berkman. 


	3. Harmless

Julie set up a dinner date at a nice little Italian place. She honestly couldn’t tell you why she was even pursuing this man. He definitely had several red flags, but for some reason, she just couldn’t stay away. Maybe it was because she was nearing forty and was still single, maybe because he was so mysterious, maybe it was just because he was the only decent-looking man who had seemed even remotely interested in her in quite a long time. She ran it by all of her colleagues who had met Barry that night, and everyone who saw him with his shirt off said things like, “Damn girl, good for you.” so she figured that was a positive sign. After all, he was pretty cute. And tall. And surprisingly strong. _And those eyes, and his hair, and that face, and his shoulders_ … Julie daydreamed as she put on a simple red dress and curled her hair.

Barry chose to go with a more modest look as he was still scarred by the reactions at Natalie’s party. He wore a blue button-down and khaki pants. He didn’t fully understand why he was even trying to date this girl either. He was still processing everything that happened, and he really didn’t want to be out in public for a while. By all means, he really shouldn’t be dating anyone, but she made him laugh, and she treated him differently than anyone else ever had. She showed genuine concern and understanding. Not to mention she was adorable. _The way her nose scrunches up when she laughs, the sparkle in her eyes, her delicate smile_ … Barry was just glad to be thinking about something happy for a change.

They met at the restaurant at seven and took their seats. Their conversation was stiff for the first few minutes, but once the wine started to hit, they were flirting and having a really nice time. The conversation became light and fun, even when Julie began to pry. 

“So, Barry, I gotta know,” she started, “how did you actually break your arm?”

Barry laughed “This again? I told you I fell down the stairs!”

“Hm, can you describe for me in detail how it happened?”

“Um, yeah. I was walking out of my building and I just ate shit.” He snorted.

“Did you fall forwards or backwards?” She squinted at him dramatically and raised an eyebrow. 

Barry hesitated, “Forwards, I caught myself like this” he outstretched his arms in front of his body, “and my left arm must have hit the ground first and took the impact.”

“Ah-ha! Now I know you’re lying!” she nearly jumped out of her seat.

He laughed weakly and very unconvincingly stated, “No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are, the type of fracture you sustained is inconsistent with the way you supposedly landed. If you broke your arm that way, you would probably need surgery due to the nature of the break, and there would also be damage to your wrist.” She suddenly sounded very sober. 

Barry was speechless, but he tried to continue smiling.

“So, again, Barry, how did you break your arm?”

“Maybe that wasn’t exactly how I landed, it all happened so fast…”

“Wait wait, can I try and guess?” she sounded tipsy again.

Barry remained speechless.

“Okay, okay, if I guess right you have to tell me.”

Barry realized she was not going to let this go. “Alright, but if you guess it right and I tell you, you’re not allowed to ask any more questions.”

“Deal.”

“Alright then, Julie, how did I break my arm?” he said with a flirtatious grin.

“Easy, Barry,” she said smugly, “you jumped out of a moving vehicle.”

His jaw dropped and he looked around the room to see if anyone heard that, “How did you know that?” he asked in disbelief.

“Oh my god, really? That was my most extreme guess! Why on earth did you… wait, right no questions.”

“How the hell did you figure that out?”

“Well, I’ve seen a very similar break before. A few years ago, my sister was sledding down a pretty steep hill with rocks at the bottom. She bailed, rolled, and flailed her arm out to stop herself from rolling. She hit a rock just below her elbow with enough force to break off a few bone chips and create a small fracture in the bone itself. Now, since your injuries matched hers so well, I concluded that you must have done something similar. However, there’s no snow in Los Angeles this time of year, so I know you weren’t sledding. You had a few scrapes and whiplash as well as a concussion, so I know you were going pretty fast. It’s simple, really, I just put all the pieces together.” She tried to sound confident and collected.

Barry was dumbfounded, all he could do was stare with his mouth open.

“My second guess was a freak surfing accident, but I figured you wouldn’t lie about that.” She continued. “Wow, I still can’t believe I got that right. I mean, who the hell jumps out of a speeding vehicle? Was it like a dare or something?”

Barry immediately pounced on that idea, “Um yeah, actually. You got me, I did some stupid shit because my buddies dared me to.” He chuckled. “That’s why I lied, I didn’t want a lecture from the doctor on peer pressure or whatever.”

“You really are a terrible liar.” She said a little deflated. She just couldn’t understand, did he really think she was going to fall for that? She had just proven how observant and perceptive she was, and he went ahead and lied again.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just really don’t want to talk about certain things, some things are just better left unsaid, right?” He tried to maintain a light tone of voice, but Julie could tell he was getting nervous. _What is with this dude?_

“Yeah okay, fair enough.” There was an awkward pause, and Barry could almost hear the question rattling around in her head before she even asked it.

“You didn’t like, kill anybody though, right?”

He was ready for it. _You can do this, play it cool_. “No no no no, don’t worry, it’s nothing like that.” He smiled.

“Okay good.” She bought it and laughed with him. Julie finally decided to let it go and just enjoy herself. She took one long look at Barry and thought about every interaction they had ever had. _He’s harmless_ she concluded _he’s just a sexy idiot who’s completely harmless… probably_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a disaster of a narrative lol I'm sorry but I'm having fun


End file.
